seijaku

Standing next to Tobirama, Chigiri and I looked on in abject horror at the way Hashirama blundered about his office, more or less ranting to himself as he checked off a list of demands that, apparently, Mito Uzumaki had given him following their meeting the day before. I still couldn't wrap my head around how that woman—the iconic first jinchuriki in the original timeline—could leave such dread and dismay in her wake. It was especially disturbing to see Hashirama, of all people...like this.

"I can't possibly marry someone like that. Can I?" he asked aloud without giving anyone a chance to respond. "She's so—so...pigheaded! Oh, that's rude. I shouldn't say that. But still! Oh, what will I do? If I marry her then she'll— No, the alliance is more important. I can't risk offending the Uzumaki or else we'll be at odds with Uzushiogakure. Some of our cousins are married, though! Why can't that be enough?"

Tobirama stepped forward then to grab Hashirama by his shoulders, which seemed to be the only way to stop him from physically ripping his hair out.

"Brother, you need to calm down," he ordered flatly. "This behaviour is unbecoming of the Hokage."

Chigiri snorted quietly beside me, leaning in to whisper.

"If you ask me, I think he's downplaying it."

I pressed my lips together to bite back my laugh.

"Tobirama...you're right," Hashirama said, closing his eyes to take a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again, he placed his own hands on his brother's shoulders. "You're much better at politics than I am. You should marry her instead."

This time, Chigiri and I were helpless to contain ourselves, doubling over in hysteria while Tobirama nearly burst open a blood vessel.

"Don't be a coward, Hashirama!" Tobirama chided, slapping his brother's hands off his shoulders. "Have you forgotten what's at stake? Mito must marry you in order for the Uzumaki to believe that we mean to welcome them into our village. None of our cousins are the Hokage. Your marriage is the only one that matters."

Hashirama deflated much like a sulking child, wearing the face of pure gloom.

"Aw, lighten up," I said, finally recovering from my laughing fit. "She can't be that bad."

Both of the Senju brothers turned to look at me with dubious cynicism.

"You only think that because you haven't met her," Hashirama said through his pout. "She's the worst."

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, I'll bite. What makes her 'the worst'?" I asked, using my fingers to air-quote the phrase.

"She refused the marriage proposal until Hashirama agreed to move into a larger house," Tobirama said.

"Not to mention she was half an hour late to the meeting because she makes her kenin do her makeup every day..." Hashirama added.

"She has her father, the head of the Uzumaki clan, wrapped around her finger to bend over backwards for every one of her fleeting whims."

"Also she only drinks bamboo water. Who does that? It doesn't even taste that good!"

"She nearly provoked our cousin Toka into a brawl because she didn't like the way Toka wore her hair."

"She told Tobirama to stop wearing his fur collar because she said it 'smells bad' and it 'makes her sneeze'."

"There's also the fact that—"

"Okay, okay! I get it!" I cut them off with a flail of my arms, fending off the headache I was about to get just from listening to those two talk about her. "So she's a raging cunt right now, but I happen to know she turns out to be a very kind and nurturing woman, so...you know, maybe this marriage will be good for both of you."

Hashirama and Tobirama paused to look at each other then, seeming to weigh their options. Hashirama was the first to speak up as he glanced back at me.

"...You mean that? She isn't going to be horrible forever?" he asked with that naive, hopeful look in his eyes. I almost pitied the guy, but...well, not really.

"Yes, I mean it," I assured him. "I don't know how long it's supposed to take, but she basically ends up being everyone's favourite grandma. I think... I think you're supposed to be the good influence that helps her find herself."

It sounded cheesy when I said it out loud, but it made sense. Hashirama was just...too damn nice for someone as petty and spiteful as they made Mito sound to be mean to him, at least not for long. That hopeful naivety was probably the very thing that made her into the compassionate woman she was when Kushina came to the village. Er, would be when— Never mind. This whole past-future clairvoyance thing was really messing with my head.

"Well...in that case, I guess it won't be so bad," Hashirama said.

Then, all of a sudden, his eyes seemed to light up as he turned toward me again, lunging forward to take both of my hands in his. I had to squash the urge to rip my hands away, still very much touch-repulsed when I wasn't expecting it, but there wasn't really anywhere to escape to with a wall to my back. I blinked at him owlishly.

"What?"

"Can you tell me if we're going to have children?" he asked, eyes glistening.

Oh, boy.

"Uhhh..." I drawled, trying to wrack my brain for the appropriate answer. "I...know that you'll have a granddaughter, so...yes? Neither of her parents were ever shown, so—"

"That's amazing!" Hashirama said with a boisterous laugh as he took things a step further and wrapped me in his arms to spin me around.

I felt every nerve in my body bristle at the motion, but the sudden disorientation kept me from wriggling out of his grasp.

"I'm going to have a child! Maybe more than one! Won't that be great, Tobirama? And a granddaughter! Do I ever get to meet her?"

"Yes, but can you let me—"

"I'm going to live to meet my granddaughter! This is wonderful! Thank you, Kai, thank you!"

"Please put me down," I growled out finally.

Hashirama came to an abrupt halt and carefully placed me back on my feet, quickly stepping away and wringing his hands with a nervous smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to— I'm just so thrilled!" he said, smile widening as he turned toward his brother. "Tobirama, you'll be an uncle! You'll be a grand-uncle!"

I hobbled back into my safe corner next to Chigiri, practically hiding behind him to avoid being in Hashirama's direct line of sight again.

"Yes, that's...exciting," Tobirama agreed, albeit with far less enthuse.

Judging by the distant look in his eyes, though, he was probably more mind-boggled at the mere notion than anything. I stamped down the irritation from having my personal space invaded, knowing better than to piss all over their parade.

"...Her name will be Tsunade," I said instead, catching Hashirama's attention again. "Your granddaughter. She'll grow up to be a legendary kunoichi. In the original timeline, she was even Hokage for a little while."

Hashirama's eyes sparkled brighter than all the stars in the night sky. I would never gain the same level of understanding and appreciation for the value of family as these people had. It was so important to them and so...unimportant to me. Even so, I could still admire the love and dedication I could already see blooming within Hashirama. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would do anything for his family, even the parts of it that weren't born yet. I also knew that, by extension, that now also included Mito.

"That settles it then," said the Hokage, resting his fist in his palm. "I'm getting married."

"Good luck," Tobirama muttered. Hashirama arched a brow at him.

"You know, one day you'll get married, too!" he teased. Tobirama scoffed.

"Fat chance. I'm not interested in anything like that," he said. "Besides, I'll have enough on my plate with you and your Hellspawn roaming around the village."

"That's so mean! This is exactly why you need to get married!"

"I do not."

"Do too!"

"Um, hey," Chigiri interjected before the two of them could go off on another tangent. "Sorry to interrupt, but we did have a reason for coming here."

I stiffened when he said that, removing myself from his side to cross my arms over my chest and start a staring contest with the floor. I'd almost successfully forgotten why we came here in the first place. This was going to be so awkward.

"Ah, yes, of course. My apologies," Hashirama said, hastily moving to take his seat behind his big desk piled high with scrolls. Tobirama stood by his side, arms crossed. "Now that we're free of distractions, what's on your mind, Chigiri-san?"

"Well..."

I could feel his eyes look me over before he continued and I shrank into myself even further.

"...We know the truth about Madara-sama," he said, finally. I squeezed my eyes shut. "'We' meaning my entire clan. ...Kai gave us most of the details."

There was a long, pregnant silence that held the weight of a thousand tonnes all on its own. I wished I could sink into the floor like a puddle of mud right now. I even felt a little sick to the stomach.

"...He what?" came Tobirama's thunderous growl.

"Now, brother, let's not jump to conclusions—"

"Silence!" Tobirama commanded, his voice booming off the walls of the room like war drums. Oh, I was going to start crying for no reason if he kept that up. "This idiocy is precisely why I insisted that he be kept under surveillance! His loose tongue has compromised the entire mission!"

"Please, don't be angry with him," Chigiri said, holding his hands out in front of him. "We...more or less forced it out of him. Mostly because he was eavesdropping, but—"

"Eavesdropping! I'm starting to think he truly was a spy all along—"

"That's enough, Tobirama."

Hashirama's voice didn't carry the same bass and volume as his brother's, but it held the note of finality all the same. I cracked open my eyes to see Tobirama pressed his lips together, a searing, ice-cold glare pinned in my direction. I could hardly breathe normally while standing in the same room as these two right now. The faintly anxious flicker of Chigiri's chakra proved he must have felt the same, but he was much better at hiding it than I was.

"He meant no harm," the Uchiha said. "My clan was plotting to go after Madara-sama and he warned us against it—rightfully so. If it weren't for Kai, your mission really would be compromised right now."

Hashirama folded his hands together in front of him, his expression far more serious now than it had been mere moments ago. Tobirama seemed to calm down marginally as well, though he still seemed displeased. Fair enough.

"I see... So what is it you seek from me?" Hashirama asked. Chigiri straightened himself.

"Confirmation, mostly," he said, "and a guarantee that he'll come back to us alive and in one piece."

"That was already the plan," Hashirama said. Chigiri pressed his lips together.

"We understand why it's necessary for you two to fight each other," he said, "but considering that the plan is to leave our leader wounded and on the brink of death, I think it's only fair that the Uchiha are appropriately compensated."

Hashirama raised a brow at this, his gaze drifting over to me before returning to Chigiri.

"...And what are your demands?"

"Hikaku wants to hold counsel with you to discuss that," Chigiri said. "I'm just the messenger boy."

Hashirama hummed in thought, closing his eyes and lifting a hand to stroke his chin. Tobirama clicked his tongue.

"Why are you even humouring this? This isn't a negotiation," he argued. "We have no obligation to compensate them for anything when their leader already agreed to the mission. Madara knows the risks and what's required of him. This is pointless—"

"Be quiet, Tobirama," Hashirama said with a sigh. "Building and maintaining peaceful relations with the clans that occupy our village is essential to keeping Konohagakure strong and united. There's no reason we can't have a simple discussion about what the Uchiha would like as reasonable reparations for the maiming of their leader. I'm certain you would demand the same if I were the one in Madara's shoes."

That seemed to be enough to silence Tobirama's reservations about the ordeal. Hashirama finally opened his eyes again and nodded at Chigiri.

"Very well. I will speak with Hikaku-san tomorrow morning to discuss the terms. Thank you for bringing this to my attention."

Chigiri bowed at the waist, a look of relief on his face.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama. I will let him know."

It still felt like we were walking on eggshells as we were dismissed from the Hokage's office. Only once the door was closed behind us could I take a full, deep breath of air.

"That was...intense," I said.

"Tell me about it," Chigiri agreed. "Remind me to tell Hikaku to shove it the next time he asks me to deliver a message to the Hokage."

We both chuckled at that as we exited the building. Coincidentally, Sasuke was waiting for us right outside. I stumbled to a halt so that I could bow in greeting.

"Hello, sensei."

"Hi, there. I was wondering how long it would take you two to finish up," Sasuke said with a lopsided grin. "Sounded like things got a little heated up there."

I shouldn't have been surprised that Tobirama's voice had carried all the way outside and, yet, there I was. Surprised.

"Yeeaahh...but at least it's over now. Is it time for our training session?" I asked, eager for a distraction from the agitated atmosphere we had just left.

"You bet. I'll meet you at the top of the cliff," Sasuke said with a wink before disappearing from sight. I clenched my fists at my sides.

"Man, I wanna learn how to do that."

"Do what?" Chigiri asked, falling into stride next to me as I started toward the path that led up the mountain. "You mean the Shunshin? He hasn't even taught you that yet?"

"No," I huffed. "He's treating me like a baby. I know I'm a little behind the curve learning all this stuff, but it's not like I'm stupid! I could probably figure it out if he would just teach me."

"Huh. Have you told him that?" Chigiri asked. I glanced over at him.

"Told him what?"

"That you're ready for the next-level stuff. I mean, he's probably holding back because you're not showing him that you're determined. You're just going along with everything he tells you to do. In my experience, a sensei can only teach you what you're willing to learn. If you don't take the initiative, it'll take you years to master any jutsu."

Huh. I had never thought of it like that. I had just assumed that Sasuke knew the best course for me to take and was sticking with it. How was I supposed to know when it was time to kick it into the next gear?

I smiled up at Chigiri.

"Wow. You're actually kinda smart sometimes," I teased.

He gaped at me and made a pass at my arm, staggering forward when I dodged it.

"Get over here, you little bastard. I owe you one for that!"

"Snooze you lose! You'll have to catch me first~"

Little did I know how quickly I would regret making that challenge. He let me have forty, maybe fifty metres before reminding me why we just had the conversation we were having. He appeared in front of me in perfect poise: hand on his hip and that smug smirk on his face. I dug my heels into the ground to stop my forward momentum, but he still nailed me in the forehead with two outstretched fingers, knocking me back onto my ass with as little grace as possible.

"Ow," I snapped as I began to pick myself back up. "Cheater—"

A swift kick to my ankle left me grounded again and I barely had time to hurl out another insult before he flipped me onto my stomach and pinned one arm behind my back and the other next to my head.

Oh. Oh, yeah. This was awakening something in me for sure.

"You were saying?" Chigiri purred next to my ear while pressing my face into the ground with the knee he had pressed against the back of my neck.

For once, I was genuinely glad I didn't have a dick to embarrass me with a boner right now.

"Yeah, yeah. Point proven, asshole," I grunted. "Let me up."

"You know," Chigiri mused instead of listening to me. I rolled my eyes. "You bark a lot for a dog with no bite. It's been, what, almost two months? And you can't even knock me off of you."

"Are you trying to piss me off?" I spat, trying and failing to wrench my wrist free of his ironclad grip.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm trying to do."

Those words gave me pause as I tried to look up at him. The awkward angle didn't really lend itself to the freedom of moving my head, though.

"You should be livid about how weak you are right now," he said, finally moving off of me to stand up. I gritted my teeth through the new ache in my arms and back as I got back on my feet. "Hell, most kids get more frustrated than you do when they can't do something. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Well, it sure fuckin' does now," I said, shooting him a halfhearted glare as I dusted the dirt off my clothes. "Thanks for the pep talk, jackass."

"I got the point across, didn't I?" he said, still smirking as if he were some kind of genius motivational speaker. "I bet you're feeling pretty inadequate right now, huh?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. As much as I hated to admit it...he was right. He was an ass, but he was right. I took a deep breath and shook my head at him as I continued along the path up the mountain.

"Yeah, yeah. Do me a favour and never have kids, why don't you?"

Unfortunately, Chigiri's fucked up way of giving advice actually worked. I spoke up to Sasuke about wanting more out of my training and it was as if his whole chest swelled up with pride, raving about how he'd been waiting so long for me to ask. Training that day was, consequently, absolute murder on my body, but I left feeling far more satisfied than usual, so much so that I didn't even feel the need to join Hikaku and Kagami on my way back home. Er, well, back to Madara’s house. The Uchiha had been gracious in offering their home to me as my own, but it still felt strange to call it that. I would never be able to shake the awkwardness of being a guest in someone else’s house, especially when that someone wasn’t in it.

I toed off my shoes at the door, feet dragging with every movement. One thing I enjoyed about ninja training (besides getting to learn how to be a ninja) was how well I slept at night after a long day of exercising parts of my body I didn’t even know existed. I seriously couldn’t remember the last time I had had a good, solid night’s rest before ending up here.

I found my way to the bedroom in the dark without bothering to open any of the windows to let in the light of the lanterns outside. I knew my way around this house almost by heart now, which was only a little embarrassing. I stretched with a big yawn as I began pulling off my clothes to get ready for bed, but an abrupt cough and the sound of shuffling by the bedroom window made my heart leap straight into my throat. I spun around, instinctively raising my hands in defense just like Sasuke had taught me, but luckily I wasn’t in for a fight (that I would lose) tonight.

“Madara?” I gasped, heart still pounding against my rib cage.

The man-shaped shadow in the window hopped down from the sill to stand upright. With a quick series of hand seals, he blew a small ball of fire into the paper lantern in the corner of the room, illuminating us both in a soft, orange glow. Madara looked up at me through the curtain of his matted, unwashed hair. It seemed longer than the last time I had seen him.

“What—What are you doing here? If someone sees you—“

“I’m not staying long,” Madara interrupted. “You can relax. ...I just came to check up on you.”

I blinked. Then my eye twitched.

“Check up on me? Why?”

I was getting a little sick and fucking tired of everyone treating me like I was some untrustworthy threat and a danger to the village. I mean, I understood why they treated me that way, but it was still annoying.

“I wanted to make sure you were safe,” he said.

Uh. What?

“I can’t imagine it’s been a picnic being left alone in the hands of those moronic Senju,” Madara continued, crossing his arms over his chest. “I wanted to make sure they hadn’t run you off yet.”

“So...you were worried about me,” I said, helpless to stop the smug grin growing on my face. Madara scoffed and averted his gaze.

“Hardly. I’d just rather not lose such a valuable source of information and risk it falling into the wrong hands.”

Okay, that would have pissed me off a lot more if I didn’t know he was so totally full of shit right now.

“Uh-huh. So that’s why you risked blowing this whole mission just to ‘check up on me’?” I asked, using air quotes around his lame excuse.

Madara bit out a sigh, blowing his choppy hair out of his face.

“I’m suppressing my chakra so that even that bastard Tobirama can’t sense me,” he said. Then he finally met my eyes again with unexpected intensity. “You must recall that when I first found you, you were babbling on and on about how you had tried ending your own life when you wound up here. You can’t blame me being the slightest bit concerned about your well-being.”

Ouch. I couldn’t deny that he had a point—a damn good point at that. Madara had been absent for the majority of the time I’d spent here between the trip to find Black Zetsu and now being banished from the village, all right after stumbling across some lunatic who appeared out of nowhere and started spouting off about impossible things and with a clear case of mental instability. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what all this must have been like from his perspective.

I rubbed my arm and looked down at the floor, suddenly very interested in the wood grain.

“Right… Sorry. But, on the bright side, I haven’t tried to off myself again, so…”

Yeah, that must have sounded so reassuring. God, I was an idiot.

“Look...I’m really sorry,” I said. “But, really, I’m fine. Tobirama hasn’t been a complete jackass and Hashirama… Well, he’s manageable. Plus, the Uchiha have been taking great care of me. Especially Chigiri.”

Madara raised a brow at that.

“Be cautious around that one, Kai-san,” he warned. “He can be very…”

“Forward?” I offered with a small smile. “Yeah, I figured that out myself already. Don’t worry. I can handle a shameless flirt. Besides, I’m...not really looking for anything like that right now.”

I had recently found out that my headmates were still with me. I had to figure out what to do about that and how it was going to affect us in this world before I even considered building a real life here. Being many in one body was already stigmatized and misunderstood in my world; there was no telling how people here would react to something like that, if they even understood it at all.

Oh, and you can forget about explaining intra-system relationships to anyone. Fuck all of that.

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re in good hands,” Madara said after an uncomfortable pause.

He turned halfway toward the window as if he were about to leave, but he hesitated, looking at me over his shoulder.

“...The battle will happen in two days,” he said, eyes glued to the floor. “You should know we won’t be going through with your Edo Tensei idea.”

I furrowed my brows.

“What? Why? I thought we decided it was our best shot at—”

“Our best shot is not worth sacrificing another human life.”

That shut me up real quick. I pursed my lips and looked down again. At the time, I hadn’t considered that as a factor. Tobirama had mentioned it after the fact, but we were already in agreement. They had talked about rounding up some rogue or bandit who wouldn’t be missed if they disappeared. Hashirama had had the most to say about that, but even he eventually caved. I wouldn’t deny that the thought never quite settled in my mind, but I stamped it down because I thought it was the only way we would make this convincing enough for Black Zetsu to show himself.

“Surprisingly enough, Tobirama actually came up with a better idea,” Madara continued. He stuck his gloved hand in the pocket of his pants, producing a small blue pill. “He invented a drug that can temporarily simulate death. He’s assured me that I’ll reawaken exactly four hours after taking it.”

That all sounded very cool and convenient, but…

“Has he tested it?” I asked.

Madara’s lips twitched in an abandoned smile. He pocketed the pill again and turned to face the window. I lurched forward to grab his arm, pulling him back in place before he could take off into the night.

“Why would you take it if he hasn’t tested it, Madara? Sure, he says you’ll wake up, but what if—”

I stared at the back of his head, a chill running down my spine at the mere thought.

“...If I don’t,” Madara finished for me, “then at least it will have been my life instead of someone else’s.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Kai.”

Madara turned around, grabbing my wrists in both of his hands as he faced me directly now. Standing this close to him, I was accosted by the ripe odor that clung to him from squatting out someplace in the woods, and I could see the dirt and grime that matted his hair, but he still carried himself with the weight of a warrior. He looked every bit like he was about to storm into battle, gunbai raised and a Katon jutsu on his lips. In spite of all that, I wasn’t scared. Right now, he wasn’t fearsome or terrifying. He was the embodiment of bravery.

“No matter what happens to me, my people will know that I fought for them. They will know me as their fearless leader who crawled through the trenches of humiliation in order to protect them. They will know that I didn’t abandon them.”

Why did this sound like a goodbye? Like he knew that he wouldn’t wake up? How was he okay with any of this? The Edo Tensei thing was fucked up, sure, but this was...this was unthinkable! Madara couldn’t die because of this. That wasn’t how things were supposed to turn out. I did all this to prevent him from giving up his life. He couldn’t just waste it all like this. Not before I had the chance to—

“Also, I still have the Izanagi, so even if that Senju bastard is trying to kill me, I’m coming back to deliver his karma personally either way.”

…

Oh, this motherfucker—

“You bastard!” I yelled, wrenching my hands from his grasp so I could slap at his chest. “You made me think— I was going to— Ugh! You’re the worst!”

The Cheshire grin that stretched across Madara’s face ignited a raging fire in my chest that made my knuckles itch to throw a punch, but even that was no match for the heat that had gathered in my cheeks.

“You were going to what?”

“Forget it! Get out of here before someone sees you,” I snapped, muttering insults under my breath as I turned my back on him and crossed my arms.

I heard Madara chuckle behind me, but thankfully—mercifully—he made no effort to prolong my enraged embarrassment. Who knew that piece of shit even had a sense of humour, let alone one so macabre? I mean, who joked about that sort of thing in a situation like this?!

“It’s comforting to know that at least someone would miss me,” Madara said. I heard him open the window. “I’ll be back soon, Kai.”

And with that, the bedroom was silent once more, save for the gentle breeze the carried in through the open window. I let myself relax after a few seconds had passed, releasing a shuddered breath. What the hell was that about, anyway? Why did I get so...emotional all of a sudden? Was I really about to…

It didn’t make any sense. This wasn’t some shitty soap opera where things like that could just happen without consequence. This was very much real life for me now. I couldn’t squander it by making stupid, impulsive decisions on a split-second whim just because I was scared I would never get to make those choices later. Who said I even wanted to, anyway? It was just the heat of the moment. I was scared I was going to lose him. All I wanted was to convince him to stay alive.

That’s how it always starts with you.

A new, yet still familiar voice floated through my mind. I sucked in a small gasp when I recognised it, eyes fluttering closed as I tried to hang onto it.

You boil it down to some noble purpose like you’re so far above having real feelings. When are you gonna realise you’re just as simple as the rest of us?

“That’s rich coming from you,” I whispered into the empty room even as a slight smile crept onto my face. I hugged my arms around myself as if I could hold him instead. “How long did it take you to realise you had it down bad, huh?”

The voice didn’t respond again, but I could still feel his presence lingering just on the fringes of my consciousness. Katsuki. His warmth was all around me. Alongside it I could just make out the calming coolness of Issei and Tooru bubbling forth, as if they were laughing at us.

You’re not getting rid of us that easily.

I didn’t get much sleep that night. Madara’s warning about the battle had left me anxious, my thoughts racing through all the possible scenarios for how this was going to end. I hated that Madara and Hashirama had to fight each other like this. I worried about how the village would respond once all was said and done.

My eyes were heavy in the morning when the light of dawn broke through the window blinds. It was unusually cold this morning and I snuggled deeper under the blankets in order to escape the unwelcome chill. As I closed my eyes again, I felt sleep creeping up to claim me at last. Naturally, of course, I wasn’t going to catch a break that easily.

Loud knocking resonated through the house. I groaned and tried to sink into the bed, but the knocking didn’t let up. I dragged myself onto my feet, blindly stepped into a nearby pair of slippers, and stumbled through the house to answer the front door.

Squinting against the bright morning light, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust until I could make out the face standing in front of me.

“Tobirama?” I asked, brows pinching together as I drew my jinbei tighter around myself. Tobirama quirked a brow down at me.

“You’re still not dressed?” he asked with no small amount of judgement in his voice. “It’s half an hour past sunrise.”

“Yeah, well, not everyone has an internal alarm clock that wakes them up at the ass-crack of dawn,” I shot back just as a yawn overcame me. “What are you doing here, anyway? Did you miss all the ‘No Tobiramas Allowed’ signs on your way in?”

I turned to retreat from the door and back into the relative warmth of the house. Seriously, Tobirama had some gall to step foot inside the Uchiha compound. I had heard the whispers that floated around in this neighbourhood and it was clear that Izuna’s murder was still fresh on everyone’s minds, at least in so far as Tobirama was concerned.

“Very funny,” Tobirama said flatly as he carefully stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “I came to ask if you were still looking for work.”

My head snapped up to look at him. Was he being serious? I could tell he was extremely uncomfortable standing in the home of Madara Uchiha, but his expression showed no signs of deceit or dishonesty.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so. Are you...offering me a job?”

This was...unexpected. And a little suspicious. What kind of “work” did someone like Tobirama have to offer?

“I’m offering you an opportunity,” he clarified. “If you don’t blow it and prove you can actually be useful, then the job is yours.”

“Wow. Great pitch.” I rolled my eyes. “So what kind of work are we talking about?”

“I’m in need of an assistant,” he said. “Outside of attending my brother to assist with his responsibilities as Hokage, I work in a laboratory where I conduct research in developing new jutsu.”

My eyebrows shot up.

“And you want me to come anywhere near that lab? I’m flattered, snowflake~ If I didn’t know any better, I might even think you actually like me a little,” I teased, narrowing my eyes and resting a hand on my hip. “So what’s the catch? You gonna experiment on me or something?”

“Of course not,” Tobirama snapped with a click of his tongue. “I’m not some mad scientist with zero regard for human life.”

Wasn’t he, though?

“So what, then?”

There was a long pause wherein we just stared at each other, me waiting for his explanation and Tobirama seemingly calculating his response. Eventually, he looked away and crossed his arms, muttering something I couldn’t quite make out.

“Sorry, come again? I didn’t catch that.”

“I said all of my previous assistants have...chosen to prioritize other work,” he said. I arched a brow at him.

“So they quit on you. Why?”

“Who knows? All of them were too ignorant and small-minded to understand the importance of my research.”

“Riiight…” I drawled. “So what I’m hearing is that you drove them all off and now nobody wants to work for you, so you have no choice but to come to me because you know I’m desperate to find a job. Does that about sum it up?”

Tobirama stared at me blankly for several long seconds before he turned back toward the door.

“Never mind. Clearly this was a waste of time,” he grumbled.

“Wait!”

I ran across the room to press my hand against the door to keep him from leaving.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.”

Tobirama narrowed his eyes at me.

“Are you going to keep making smart-ass comments while you’re working for me?” he asked, lips pressed into a thin line.

“...Maybe. Sometimes—but I’ll get the job done.”

Tobirama heaved a long sigh and reached up to rub at the bridge of his nose.

“Fine. I’ll give you one chance,” he said. “Hurry and get dressed. We’re already off to a late start.”

Biting back a grin, I rushed off to do just that, even though I was a little surprised that he intended for me to start right away. Working under Tobirama as his lab assistant wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned myself doing here, but it was better than nothing. I felt awful that Hashirama and Hikaku had to keep bringing me food and supplies, and that Chigiri always felt obligated to pay for our meals when we went out. It was embarrassing.

I swapped my night clothes for a warm black and red ensemble with a white haori embroidered with intricate gold thread—a gift from Hashirama, who informed me that that cousin of his made it for me when he heard about me. It was as stylish as it was warm, and good thing, too. It was starting to get much colder outside, much faster than it ever did in my world. The climate was different here, unsullied by the pollution of modern industries. I was excited to experience what a real winter would be like in a place like this.

Once I was dressed, I followed Tobirama out of the Uchiha District, doing my best to ignore the stares and whispers that followed us all the way to the gates.

“You won’t last long here if you allow petty judgement to get under your skin,” Tobirama remarked once we were free of all the gawking and pointing. “If you want to become a shinobi, you’ll have to do far worse things than consort with a rival clansman.”

“Rival clansman?” I repeated with a snort. “I don’t think that really counts for me. I’m not really an Uchiha, you know.”

“You could have fooled me. You’re practically their little pet, the way they coddle you and wait on you hand and foot.”

I shot him a nasty side-eye as we entered the streets of the village proper, where stores were just beginning to open for business.

“First of all, that’s a really shitty thing to say considering they’re generously offering me their home and at least trying to help me feel comfortable here. All you’ve done is talk down to me this whole time like I’m an idiot child. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from Uchiha about showing a little respect and compassion.”

Tobirama only rolled his eyes at that, but at least he didn’t try to pursue the argument further. Maybe a part of him knew there was truth to my words. Apart from that brief encounter when I first arrived here and made him feel bad because I almost had a mental breakdown in front of him, he had been nothing but distant and more than a little dickish. He was just lucky I really was desperate enough to take his job offer, or else I would have happily blown him off like the rest of his assistants.

The rest of our walk to Tobirama’s lab passed in rigid silence. Neither of us was the type to enjoy small talk and it just seemed pointless, anyway. I followed him down a path that led away from the heart of the village, nearly reaching all the way to the wooden walls that surrounded Konohagakure. Before we got that far, though, Tobirama strayed from the path and walked deeper into the forest instead.

“Is your lab really all the way out here in the middle of nowhere? Seems a little inconvenient, don’t you th—”

I shut my mouth when Tobirama came to a stop in front of me, briefly worried he was going to turn around and lash out because of my “smart-ass comments”, but instead he just performed a few hand seals and then crouched down to press his palm against the forest floor. Below us, the ground began to rumble until it suddenly opened up, revealing a hidden staircase made of earth that descended into a cave of some kind. From where I was standing, I could see light flare up from the tunnel leading down as torches came to life on their own.

“Wow, that is creepy as fuck.” Before he could retort, I continued, “Lead the way.”

Sure, maybe there was a chance this led down to a creepy murder dungeon where Tobirama planned to kill me so he could dissect my brain and try to extract all my knowledge for himself, but rational logic informed me that there was probably just a normal-ass laboratory down there that he hid this way to protect the secrets of his research. One of those options was definitely more likely than the other.

The staircase seemed to go on forever, leading deeper and deeper underground. Eventually we came to a set of large stone doors that were covered in paper tags. Tobirama made several more hand seals before touching the doors, making the tags glow brightly before a mechanism inside the walls clicked. The doors swung open and we stepped inside.

I couldn’t resist gawking all around the lab that we entered. The floor and walls were all pristine white. There were shelves on every wall piled high with scrolls and books and various little trinkets that seemed ominously important. There were also a handful of glass containers filled with unknown organisms that ranged from plant-like to vaguely animal-shaped.

A long, metal table occupied the centre of the room, covered in scattered papers with half-finished scribbles. On the far wall was a large, wooden cabinet that was sealed shut with paper tags just like the entrance to the lab. I had to wonder how delicate and sensitive the information locked away in there had to be to warrant such extensive security measures.

“As you might have guessed, the research I conduct here is highly confidential,” Tobirama said, slipping off his fur collar in exchange for a long white haori hanging off one of the shelves. “Nothing leaves this room. Not one scroll, page, or drop of solution. Is that understood?”

I nodded my head absently, still slack-jawed as I took in everything around me.

“Good.” Tobirama plucked a pair of glasses off the table to slide onto his face. “If anything leaves these walls, I’ll know immediately and the entrance will be sealed off until I open it, so don’t get any ideas. Additionally, you will forget everything you see here once you leave. This lab is protected by a genjutsu.”

That caught my attention. I looked at him warily.

“...Everything?” I asked. “Doesn’t that mean anything could happen to me here and I wouldn’t have any idea about it once I leave?”

That was...an unsettling thought, to say the least. Tobirama regarded me for a moment, giving me a chaste once-over.

“Don’t think so lowly of me. You’ll still remember our conversations. You’ll only forget the contents of my research. My genjutsu isn’t powerful enough to erase everything from your memory.”

I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. It was still disconcerting to know that I would be robbed of parts of my memory (I had enough memory issues as is), but I understood the necessity of it all. I didn’t know much of Tobirama’s accomplishments outside of a couple jutsu featured in canon, but that was enough to know that he truly was a genius. I would never have guessed that that genius involved so much weird science puke stuff, though.

I walked around the lab, ogling at everything even though I couldn’t read any of the writing. Shirayuki had been helpful in trying to teach me the language, but it seemed like most of this research was written in kanji, which was far above my current level of understanding.

“Sooo…what will I be doing as your assistant?” I asked, turning my attention back to Tobirama, who had taken a seat at the table. He didn’t look up from his papers as he responded.

“Mostly whatever I ask you to do,” he said. “Right now, it would be helpful if you fetched that book over there about the ancient foundations of ninshū.”

I looked in the direction that he flicked his hand, walking over to the shelf. He said it was a book, not a scroll, so that narrowed down my search, but I still couldn’t read much of anything…

However, the emblem on the cover of one of the books caught my eye. I pulled it from the shelf to study it more closely and, sure enough, I recognised the symbol as the Otsutsuki clan crest. I remembered the story about how Hagoromo had established the practice of ninshū before Indra had bastardised it into what was now called ninjutsu.

I handed the book to Tobirama, who paused in his writing to take it and glance up at me.

“So you can read after all,” he observed. I pursed my lips and shook my head.

“Not really,” I said. “Not yet, anyway. I just saw that insignia and guessed that it was what you were looking for.”

I pointed to the book cover. Tobirama glanced down at it and raised his eyebrows at me.

“I recall you talking about some crazed story regarding the Otsutsuki and the Sage of Six Paths,” he said. “This book only carries vague references that I’ve been trying to decipher to better understand the origins of chakra and how it’s used. Perhaps...you could offer a little more insight.”

Oh, finally, something I could actually help with.

“Sure. What do you wanna know?”

“Start with the Sage of Six Paths. He’s mentioned several times in this text as the progenitor of all shinobi.”

“Well, that’s not exactly, true,” I said, hopping up to sit on the edge of the table. “It’s not the whole truth, anyway. Hagoromo Otsutsuki and his brother, Hamura, were the first ones to inherit chakra. It came from their mother, Kaguya, who consumed the fruit from something called the God Tree.”

“You mentioned her name before as well,” Tobirama noted.

“Yeah. She came from...somewhere beyond this planet. The Otsutsuki were a clan of their own long before they showed up here.”

“Wait. Are you implying that this Kaguya and the rest of her people came from the stars?” Tobirama narrowed his eyes sceptically. I couldn’t blame him for having trouble wrapping his head around something like this.

“Kinda. Trust me, it doesn’t make much sense to me, either.”

That whole alien thing always felt like lazy plot glue to me. It was a shame that I couldn’t rewrite the lore here to be something...well, better.

“Anyway,” I continued, “the fruit of the God Tree is where all your power came from. Kind of. The tree needs to absorb chakra in order to bear the fruit, so my running theory is that this tree was soaking up all of the natural energy around it that could have been used for senjutsu.”

Tobirama was furiously taking notes as I spoke, but he paused here to glance back up at me.

“So you’re suggesting that we may have all had access to senjutsu a long time ago if not for this God Tree?”

“Basically, yeah, but that’s just a guess.” I shrugged. “The original timeline wasn’t very clear on this part of the history, but that’s the only thing that makes sense to me.”

Tobirama nodded and gestured for me to continue as he went back to taking notes.

We talked like that for what must have been hours, but the time flew right by. It was strangely enjoyable to discuss history and theory with Tobirama. Once I had explained the basis of the Otsutsuki clan’s influence on this world (without going into too much detail about the impact on future events), Tobirama was quick to start posing his own theories and hypotheses. He was fascinated by the concept of Vessels using Karma, which was just slightly concerning.

Oddly enough, I couldn’t find any indication of the time in Tobirama’s lab, so when he finished his work for the day and led me back up to the surface, I was surprised to see how far across the sky the sun had gotten.

“Oh, shit! I’m late for my training with Sasuke,” I said, slapping a hand across my forehead. “Sorry, Tobirama, I really have to go.”

“Relax,” Tobirama said as he finished sealing off the hidden entrance in the ground. “I’ll just explain to him that I kept you late.”

“Okay, but can we hurry—”

Tobirama placed a firm hand on my shoulder and in the next moment, reality became warped and stretched thin. Before I knew it, we were standing atop the (future) Hokage Rock where Sasuke was waiting. As awesome as it was to experience Tobirama’s Hiraishin no Jutsu first-hand, I was hit with a sudden and violent wave of nausea that brought me to my knees. The contents of my guts spilled out onto the ground in front of me, leaving a gross, acidic taste in the back of my throat.

“Ohh… That’s no good,” I heard Sasuke lament from somewhere to my right.

“Well, if I had known he had such a weak stomach, I would have—”

“Warned me?” I finished with a groan, wiping my mouth on the back of my sleeve. I shakily rose to my feet once more. “Yeah, thanks. Maybe next time.”

“I’ve never seen someone react to Hiraishin like that before,” Tobirama said, bringing a hand to his chin. “Perhaps your body is not accustomed to the physics in our world. I could run a few tests—”

“Nope. No thanks. No experiments, remember?” I said, tossing him a pointed look. Tobirama shrugged and turned to face Sasuke.

“My apologies for keeping your apprentice from his training. He’s all yours now,” he said with a small, respectful bow of his head. Sasuke nodded back, smiling.

“Thank you, Tobirama.”

With a flash of electricity, Tobirama vanished from sight. I wondered how long it would take me to master a jutsu like that...but I knew better than to get my hopes up. I still had a long ways to go, which was why it was so important to get as much out of my training with Sasuke as possible.

“Can we go a little longer today? To make up for the time I missed?” I asked. Sasuke gave me a sympathetic look.

“I would love to, but I’m afraid I have to be somewhere right after this,” he said. “Some of the clan heads are being invited to a dinner with the Uzumaki tonight.”

“Oh.” I looked down, kicking at the ground with the toe of my foot. “What about tomorrow?”

“Sorry, Kai. I have to cancel tomorrow altogether.” I looked back up at Sasuke with a gaping mouth. “I’m spending the day with my son, Hiruzen. He’s turning seven and Tobirama has agreed to take him under his wing as his student.”

Oh, wow. So Sasuke was Hiruzen’s father? What an...interesting turn of events. How could someone like Sasuke raise a child to be such an ignorant piece of shit with fungus for brains? Sasuke was so...smart, and kind, and empathetic, and Hiruzen was...none of that. He would promise Minato to take care of his son and let the village know him as a hero, then turn around and do the exact opposite of that. He would let a slimy snake like Danzo poison the village and orchestrate the Uchiha massacre. He would shun Orochimaru and turn them into a distrustful sociopath.

There was no way anyone with Sasuke Sarutobi as a father could turn out like that. Unless…

Unless Sasuke wasn’t around to raise him. What if the reason any of that happened was because...because Sasuke…

My face paled at the thought. As always, Sasuke was quick to catch on to my sudden shift in mood.

“Kai? What’s wrong?” he asked, tilting his head with that crease in his brow that always appeared when he got worried. “You look sick. Are you not feeling well?”

“No, no, I’m—I’m fine.” I cleared my throat and straightened my stance. “Just a little bummed, but it’s good that you’re spending the day with Hiruzen! Birthdays are important.”

Sasuke blinked twice, then went back to his usual, smiling self.

“I completely agree! I want to spend as many birthdays with Hiruzen as I can.”

There was an unspoken explanation left hanging in the air, but neither of us dared to reach for it.

“Alrighty, then! Let’s get started. We’ll make today extra challenging to get ahead, yeah?”

“Bring it on, sensei.”