seijaku

It was a little funny, honestly, to watch Hashirama stuff Zetsu inside of an empty sake bottle sealed with special tags. He and Tobirama decided that they would hold counsel with the other clan heads before determining the proper course of action to take with Zetsu. It just so happened that I was apparently expected to join that meeting as they planned to reveal the truth about my presence in the village at the same time. That was...more than a little nerve-wracking, but that feeling began to fade as the day went on.

Hashirama was still forced to attend his treaty meetings with the Uzumaki, but not before Tobirama told him about the incident from earlier. The Hokage was quick to offer his apologies, but I assured him that it was nothing I couldn't have handled.

(Only a tiny exaggeration, really. What was the worst she could have done to me without risking her own reputation?)

Meanwhile, Madara was dragged around the village by those who wanted to praise him and congratulate him. I was happy to tag along and offer my sarcastic commentary, but Tobirama reminded me that I was needed at his lab. He also made me accompany him to see Sasuke and Hiruzen to formally greet his newest pupil. It was off-putting, to say the least, to meet Hiruzen at this point in his life. He was only a little older than Kagami by the looks of him and he was fully of energetic ambition, something that had eluded him later in life, it seemed.

At the very least, I had the opportunity to watch them train together on the sidelines next to Sasuke, who proudly cheered on his only son. He also remarked in private that he planned to make Tobirama Hiruzen's godfather, so that he would have a trustworthy guardian in the event of Sasuke's death. I didn't know what to say to that. It was as if Sasuke knew he was going to die soon, which was all the more concerning.

With all the commotion, it felt as though the hours passed in no time at all and, by early evening, I was invited to join Hashirama, Tobirama, and Madara for drinks—ironically at the same pub that Chigiri took me to the day we met, and evidently the only well-established bar in the village thus far. I couldn't describe the feeling I got watching the three of them joke around with each other later over their own drinks. Madara and Tobirama regaled us with a colourful interpretation of their journey to Mountains' Graveyard, wherein they couldn't seem to agree on which one of them screamed like a girl when one of the dormant White Zetsu bodies fell on them as they were entering the cave in which they hibernated.

"May Amaterasu smite me down, Senju, you shrieked," Madara insisted, a light flush of inebriation across his nose.

"You must have hit your heard too hard," Tobirama rebuked with a dismissive wave of his hand from across the table. "Although, I can't blame you for misremembering a detail like that through all your whimpering."

"Whimpering! Says the one who soiled his pants when they started to wake up," Madara jeered.

"That didn't happen!"

"They woke up?" I asked, the colour draining from my face. Madara hummed and upended his cup of sake.

"All at once, like our presence triggered it," he said. "About a hundred or so. It was a bloodbath."

"Nothing that we couldn't handle, of course," Tobirama added. "Honestly, we were surprised there weren't more of them. A bit boring, truthfully."

"You guys sound like you had a blast!" Hashirama said, clapping his brother on the back. Tobirama choked a bit on his drink, glaring daggers at Hashirama out of the corner of his eye. "I wish I could have come with you, but I could barely leave my office, let alone the village."

"Tragic, really," Madara muttered under his breath beside me as he took another swig. I stifled my laughter as I nursed my own drink.

"But that battle was something else, wasn't it?" Hashirama continued, all but crawling atop the table with how far he leaned forward in his giddiness. "It's been a long time since I've felt such a rush! We never get to go all out like that anymore, old friend."

"I can't say I disagree," Madara said with a small smile on his lips. "I admit I'm curious to know for myself just how close a match it would have been if I had that Nine-Tails on my side."

"You couldn't have beaten me without it, to be sure," Hashirama jested with a bellowing laugh. "Say, let's see if those Tailed Beasts will let us spar with them once we secure an alliance, hm? Now that will be a challenge!"

"For another, brother," Tobirama said, snatching up the bottle of alcohol from the table before Hashirama could reach for it again. "I know you've had enough when you start letting that godly ego of yours get to your head."

"I've barely had two bottles!" Hashirama complained.

"Two bottles too many. Let's go."

Tobirama struggled to drag him out of his seat, not because Hashirama resisted, but because he couldn't untangle his feet from the legs of the chair he was sitting in. I had to cover my mouth with my hand to hide my laughter this time and Madara was no better next to me with his thinly veiled snorts. Once our gracious Hokage was free of his entrapment, Tobirama supported him with an arm over his shoulder, but he turned to look at me directly before taking off.

"I trust you'll drag this one back to his home before he stirs up any trouble for the rest of the village tonight?" he asked pointedly. I cleared my throat to swallow down any remnant amusement and nodded to him with quivering lips.

"I sure will."

Tobirama rolled his eyes at me, then started shuffling his whimsical brother out of the restaurant. Madara and I only shared a brief glance with each other before we both broke out into more laughter, uninhibited by Tobirama's sobering glares.

I couldn't remember the last time I had felt like this—light, carefree, and—dare I say—happy. Everything had worked out the way I had hoped it would. Madara turned away from Zetsu's manipulative influence, they captured Zetsu himself, and the future would (hopefully) be spared the unnecessary bloodshed of the Fourth War. It also occurred to me, then, that because of all that, these memories that Madara got to make now were priceless. He likely wouldn't be sitting here right now with that exhilarated look on his face if he hadn't taken a leap of faith to believe me when I told him what would happen if he kept following the path he was on.

did that. gave him that opportunity. In a weird, roundabout way, I was the reason he could smile right now. And that felt really, really good.

I realised belatedly that I had been staring at him the whole time that I was reflecting on such cheesy thoughts, but sadly I didn't catch myself in time before Madara caught me in the act. I turned away, a small smile still lingering on my face from the bubbly warmth the sake left inside me. I finished off the rest of my glass before I spoke again, ignoring the way that I could still feel his eyes on me.

"We should probably get going, too," I said finally, stretching my arms above my head. "I'm a notorious lightweight, and you look like you could use some serious R&R."

"What's that?" he asked as we stood up to leave. I had to keep reminding myself that my colloquialisms were indecipherable the majority of the time.

"Rest and relaxation," I clarified. "Sorry. I still forget what time period I'm in sometimes."

We walked out of the restaurant to a brisk autumn evening. As I took in the view of wispy clouds giving way in the distance to a sky full of stars, I wondered if my birthday had passed yet or not. If I remembered correctly, I bit the bullet and ended up here sometime around mid-August. It had been about...two months since then, give or take.

Ah. Yeah... My birthday probably passed a little while ago. Did birthdays even count in the afterlife, though? Probably not.

"What was your world like?" Madara asked as we walked leisurely back toward the Uchiha compound. I hummed in thought.

"That's a loaded question," I began. "I know I said before that we didn't have the powers you have here... We were just people going about our lives... A lot of our countries were separated by oceans, so there were a lot of different cultures and ways of life. We were...further in the future than this place is, but there were places in the world that pushed back against time. Everywhere was so different, it's hard to put it all into words."

"I can understand that," he said. "It does sound rather boring."

I chuckled at that. I remembered that I had described it that way to him back then. It was still true, even if I missed some things about it, things I couldn't even begin to explain to Madara, like computers and modern music and carbonated drinks and McDonald's. Oh, fuck, what I wouldn't give for some McDonald's right now.

"Do you...like it here?" Madara asked then. I glanced over at him where he walked beside me. "Is it better here than where you were?"

I thought about that for a moment. My immediate urge was to say yes, but that was easy to think when I was not only in good physical health now between my diet, training, and lack of nicotine intake. Before I wound up here, I was just wallowing in the symptoms of my own depression and letting it take me under. I couldn't have appreciated anything truly good about my world even if I had wanted to. I couldn't allow myself to do that here, though, because my life depended on it.

But, then, that was the point, wasn't it? Back there, I didn't care enough to save my own life. Here, though...

"Yeah," I said at last. "Yeah, I think it is. There aren't as many distractions—which also means not as many luxuries, but...I think that's okay. I think I'm okay here."

It felt good to say that and mean it for once in my life. Grief over losing my past life notwithstanding, nothing about being here in this place had yet to make me feel like I wanted to leave it behind all over again.

"Good."

That was all Madara had to say to that and neither of us said anything more after. We walked the rest of the way back to his home in comfortable silence, only stumbling a couple times along the way. Once there, Madara lit a few lanterns with his katon jutsu and started down the hallway.

"I'll run a bath. I still have that fool's blood all over me...and something's been caught in my teeth all night," he grumbled.

"Okay," I replied. "Let me know when you're done."

I moved toward the kitchen to start a pot of tea, but Madara paused to look back at me.

"Aren't you coming?"

Well, that wasn't a fucking question I was prepared to be asked. I looked at him with raised brows and pursed lips, squeaking out an uncertain, "Hm?"

"Are you coming to take a bath of not?"

Huh. Uh, hmm... I was little confused as to what exactly he was confused about.

"No, yeah, I, uh...was gonna wait...until you were finished," I said eventually. Madara furrowed his brows at me.

"That's a waste of water. Just come do it now," he said as if I were the one not making sense again. I scratched behind my ear.

"Sorry, do you...want me to...bathe with you?" I asked, willing away the dizzying heat rushing to my head. I was reading this situation wrong, right? Right?

Madara flailed his arms at me.

"What are you afraid of? I'm not going to bite you."

"Right, right, no, I didn't think...that was gonna happen." I coughed and cleared my throat, furrowing my own brows as I put my hands on my hips. "Uh, sorry, I'm just a little— We don't, uh, typically...bathe with other people where I come from."

"Oh," he said. "Well...if you insist."

He waved his hand and carried on down the hallway with some lingering puzzlement on his face. I couldn't blame him. I recalled far too late the Japanese custom of group baths. Was it rude to decline? No, surely not. But was it, though?

I cast a look down at myself, swallowing a thick lump in my throat. If only I knew how to use the henge jutsu Chigiri told me about... Quite frankly, I had avoided looking at my body altogether for weeks. There was no lack of reflective surfaces around Madara's house, but I had grown accustomed to keeping my modesty in check even in private during the period of time in which I literally had people watching my every move at all hours of the day.

I pressed a hand against my stomach. I wasn't exaggerating before about my physical health improving; I had already noticed muscle growth and a gradual decline in the fat deposits on my body. I could see my toes with my back straight now, at least. I still wasn't completely satisfied with the snail-like pace of my progress, but...it was something. It helped me feel a bit better about my body when I didn't look like a vaguely human-shaped blob.

It would be a waste of water...

I risked a glance down the hallway just as Madara emerged from the guest bedroom he had adopted as his own in a thin white kimono. He disappeared into the bathroom—quite literally just a room for bathing and nothing else, which was a little confusing to figure out at first—where a thin veil of steam had already begun to form just inside. I pursed my lips. Maybe I could allow the booze to do the talking...just this once.

I left a pot of water over the heated irori pit between the kitchen and the lounge, then quietly padded back to the master bedroom to change into my own kimono. When I looked down at my chest bindings, however, I hesitated. I decided to keep them on for now, just in case I chickened out at the last second, and wrapped the kimono around my body. I was enveloped by humid heat when I crept through the open door to the bathroom, spotting Madara filling a small bucket with hot water from the large wooden basin he had already prepared.

He was also exceptionally naked. It took all my willpower to keep my eyes from drifting where they didn't belong, but, oh, was it hard. Hard not to look. Not—never mind.

"So you decided to join me after all," Madara mused once he noticed me standing much too awkwardly in the doorway. "Come. Sit."

He gestured to one of the stools against the wall of the tub. One thing I hadn't quite reconciled about this style of living yet was the fact that one wall of the bathroom was completely missing, opening up to a private garden area. It was a beautiful view, to be sure, but I would always take a partition from the master bedroom to stretch in front of the tub. Obviously I didn't even think about doing that this time.

I hesitated for a couple more seconds before my feet finally decided to move, all but tip-toeing toward the stool. My hand lingered over the tie of my kimono, heart pounding so hard against my ribs that I could feel it in my ears. Taking a deep breath, I slipped the tie loose and slowly shrugged off the robe to hang up on the wall next to the place where Madara left his. My stomach flipped over itself as I became much too aware of how exposed I was. I kind of wanted to throw up a little. This type of fear was worse than any threat against my life could make me feel.

I wasn't sure if it were the vulnerability or the company or just the ingrained hatred of my skin, but it nevertheless stripped all feelings of masculinity from me in an instant. I hated this. I should have just waited to take a bath later. I was never going to listen to the booze ever, ever, ever, again—

The gentle hand on my shoulder made me freeze. Every muscle in my body seized up and I couldn't tell if I wanted to sprint out of the bathroom or claw his hand off of my body until my own nails bled.

"...If I didn't know any better," he began, his voice so quiet and muffled by the insulated walls and steam that surrounded us, "I could be fooled into thinking you were fighting for your life right now. Breathe, Kai-san. It's only a bath."

He could probably hear my heart with how loud it was hammering in my chest right now, not to mention whatever chaotic bullshit must have been happening with my chakra. I sucked in a stuttered breath, uncertain if I had been breathing at all for the past several minutes.

"...You have to take this off."

He was talking about the binding wraps. I swallowed. The war going on inside my head fought between saying fuck it and eating my pride, or trying to do the courageous thing and admit that my body was not a sin. It was just flesh. Flesh shaped by hormones that ruined my life, but flesh all the same. If someone like Chigiri didn't care about that, then Madara wouldn't care either, right?

The logical part of my brain started to pull forward. Bite back the irrational anxiety and just do it. Like Madara said—it was just a bath.

I started unwrapping the binds from around my chest, one band at a time until I held it all in my hands. Slowly, with trembling fingers, I looped it over the hook with my kimono on it. Done.

"Sit. I'll pour; you wash," Madara instructed.

I didn't have it in me to argue despite every trauma response telling me that accepting any help right now was weakness. I sat down numbly on one of the stools, grabbed the body brush he handed me, and kept my head down as he gradually poured the bucket of hot water over my shoulders, down my back and arms, through my hair. I scrubbed away methodically, mechanically, the way Chigiri told me to. It wasn't as if I had ever rinsed off and bathed like this before coming here, so someone had to teach me how to keep myself clean—in as much detail as possible without the live demonstration he had tried to insist on giving me.

Madara poured another round of water over me once I was done scrubbing to rinse off any leftover residue. Then, he took a seat on the stool next to me, a newly filled bucket in hand. This time, I moved quickly before he could tip it over his own head. I snatched the bucket out of his hands and stood behind him to pour.

He turned his head as if to glance back at me, but then thought better of it and simply allowed it to happen. I poured it over his hair first, watching a slew of grime wash off of him and into the wooden drains on the floor. He had been forced to live off the land outside of the village for several days, so it was no wonder he had gotten so dirty. Stains from dirt and mud faded away as he scrubbed himself with his own brush, revealing the flawed, olive skin underneath.

He was littered in scars from head to toe, no doubt a gruelling story tied to each one. Some were thick—old but clearly deep—while others were still red and fresh from his battle with Hashirama. There was one particularly large and angry bruise starting to form from his shoulder to his chest; undoubtedly a brutal blow from his opponent. He tilted back his head as I poured another round through his hair, revealing his chest with a smattering of its own collection of scars. I found myself wondering how truly hard his life must have been, how dangerous, how painful. It was that way for many of the people who lived here, yet somehow they still persevered. Somehow, they still found it within themselves to trust and forgive, and to be vulnerable like this.

He really didn't know me. For all he knew, there still could have been a frog hair's chance that I had come here with malicious intent. He must have known how easy it would be for someone standing where I was now to slit his throat.

And yet he trusted that I wouldn't. Or maybe it was faith, or hope, or some other flimsy, fleeting thing. Whatever it was, it filled me with an unusual kind of warmth. Perhaps he was opening himself up to me like this because I had also decided to trust him with the most vulnerable part of myself. For him, his life; for me, my dignity.

I set aside the now empty bucket once Madara was finished washing off. When he stood, he gestured out the still-steaming tub of water, a question in his eyes. I let my eyes drift toward it, considering. It wasn't exactly small, but it was certainly...cozy. It was round with a half-moon bench inside for sitting.

What else did I have to lose?

I stepped into the tub with the support of his hand and sank into the water, a flood of relief when it reached up to my collarbones. Madara joined me a moment later, the skin of our hips touching in the water. I would blame the steam for the red in my face that had not faded since stepping foot into this room. Leaning an elbow over the edge upon which to rest my chin, I gazed out into the garden, softly illuminated by its own lanterns against the blanket of darkness now that the sun had fully set.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, you know," came Madara's voice, quiet and low like before.

"Easy for you to say," I muttered back without moving. "Maybe it's different here, but where I come from...I was under constant scrutiny. Every part of myself was put into question because I don't agree with the way I look. I was treated differently than I would have been if I were born a man, so I learned to hate my body. I used to get sick looking at myself."

I had come a long way from that point, even before I ended up here, but it was still a process. A long, arduous process to forgive myself for existing.

"I'm sorry," Madara replied. "I doubt anyone here would think any less of you—"

"They would," I interjected. "They do."

My confrontation with Mito was still fresh in my mind. Sure, maybe she only said all that for the sake of being cruel, but the fact that that was her go-to weapon to get under my skin spoke volumes of her culture and potentially the culture of many others. I wouldn't be escaping the wrath of bigots any time soon.

"... don't think less of you," he said instead. "One's body is irrelevant to what's inside of one's heart...and you have a good heart. That's all that matters."

That sounded a bit like what he had said earlier, too, after he and Hashirama returned to the village. He must have placed a great deal of importance on the state of someone's soul, whether it was corrupt or well-intentioned. I slipped my arm back into the water as I leaned back against the wall of the basin and glanced over at him.

"Thanks," I said. "You're not so insufferable yourself."

Madara tilted back his head against the edge with a chuckle as he closed his eyes.

"I suppose that's all I can ask for, considering I almost ended the world," he said. His eyes slowly opened again to stare up at the ceiling. "It is a shame that my dream was actually a nightmare in disguise. I truly wanted to bring peace to this world, but now..."

"Now you get the chance to do things right the first time," I finished for him. He looked over at me, brow raised. "Settings the foundations for the future. That's the best thing you could do for this world."

He stared at me for a moment as if I had just given him a revelation. He hummed before closing his eyes again, seemingly deep in thought. I decided to close my eyes as well and let him ruminate in silence. These long baths were a huge plus about this world—this culture, rather. Everything back in the States was always go, go, go, whereas the fundamental principles of Japanese culture and, by extension, that of the Naruto universe, were founded in a necessity to take life one step at a time. Time was precious in the way that it should never be taken for granted. The present moment was always the most important. There were many aspects of day-to-day life that carried this same philosophy and bathing just happened to be one of them.

The cicadas were loud in the night and the water had grown lukewarm by the time we decided it was probably a good idea to get out of the water. The drain of the tub fed straight into a bamboo irrigation system that distributed the water across the garden—nothing went to waste. We dried off before donning our kimonos again and leaving the warm bathroom to retreat back into the rest of the house.

"Do you still want some tea?" I asked as I shuffled my way back toward the kitchen area.

"That would be nice. Thank you, Kai-san," Madara said from behind.

He took a seat on the futon while I detoured to the kettle I had left to boil over the irori. I had learned a lot about the way people prepared food and drinks here over the weeks, particularly from Hashirama and Shirayuki. In fact, Shirayuki was the one who taught me how to make sencha (her favourite), so that was what I planned to prepare for Madara. Luckily the water had reached just the right temperature after the time we spent taking a bath. I grabbed it from the hook with a hot pad and carried it over to the counter to cool just a little.

I still had some sencha tea leaves left over from the last time I had made a proper pot of tea on my own, so I added some to a small strainer to place inside of a teapot. I carefully poured the hot water into the teapot to begin steeping the leaves for about a minute. Only then could I pour the tea into two cups, one of which I offered to Madara as I approached to sit down next to him.

He took a moment to smell the aroma of the tea itself, raising and dropping his brows as if he were sufficiently impressed with the scent, and then took a sip. I waited for his reaction before touching my own cup.

"...Not bad," he said finally, glancing over at me with a small smile. "Not bad at all."

I couldn't stifle the smile that stretched my lips as I allowed myself to enjoy my own tea. There were at least some things that I could do well here so far. Public speaking and job hunting were not amoung them, but that was fine.

We sat together quietly while we nursed our drinks. This was perhaps the most relaxing evening I had had the pleasure of enjoying since arriving in this world. No sleeping on a prison bench, no watchdogs breathing down my neck, no timeline-altering schemes afoot. Just breathing and stillness and tea. Once we finished our drinks, we talked idly for a while longer about this and that. Eventually, however, we both agreed that it was time to turn in for the night. I rinsed out the used cups while he dried them and then we went to our respective rooms to retire for the evening.

After disrobing once more and getting comfortable in the large bed, I lay awake with my wandering thoughts. I would be lying if I said that a part of me hadn't anticipated that something more would have come of the night. It had all seemed like the perfect recipe for something cliche like that, but nothing ever came. I had never bared myself to anyone before without the expectation of sex. It was an odd feeling, but one that I didn't exactly hate.

I did wonder, though, if maybe Madara had expected me to be the one to make a move. Was I supposed to? Should I have? Did I even want to? These were all questions with unknowable answers; I didn't possess the social acuity to discern these types of hints and cues, if there even were any.

Missed opportunity, came a familiar drawl in the back of my mind. I snorted to myself at Tooru's remark.

"Says you. If he wants some, he can come get some," I muttered back.

Period, Tooru replied with a distant chuckle. What about that flirty fella? What's his name... Chigiri?

"I don't know." I turned over on my side, gazing out through the gaps in the window shutters to the moonlight koi pond just beyond. "Now's not really a good time."

Well, when will it be? It's already been, what, six years? You deserve a good lay!

I chuckled under my breath and let my eyes fall closed. It seemed like a long time when he said it out loud like that. It wasn't as if I were particularly hankering to get my rocks off, though. Reacting to an attractive man or a set of circumstances that just so happened to align with my particular proclivities didn't necessarily mean anything. It wasn't as easy to get things up and running, so to speak, without a tried-and-true smut fic to fall back on. Maybe that was part of the problem, though.

Oh, well. No use in dwelling on such things right now.

I awoke in the morning to the sound of a thud coming from the other room. I scrambled out of bed in a daze, snatching the kimono I had left hanging over the partition to yank over my shoulders before making a beeline to Madara's room. I had just managed to tie the robe enough to cover my modesty when I threw open the door to find him trying to drag himself up off the floor.

"Jesus, dude, are you okay?" I asked as I rushed over to help him up.

Instead of responding, he bit out a pained noise when I grabbed under his right arm. It was then that I remembered the bruise I noticed last night while we were bathing and I shifted to support his weight on his other side instead. It had gotten much worse overnight, almost entirely purple.

"Barely a flesh wound," he grumbled once he was sitting upright on the edge of the bed again. "It took a few hours for the ache to settle in."

"Surprised it even took that long," I said, standing back to observe him with furrowed brows and a hand on my hip. "You took that pill Tobirama gave you, right? Dying and coming back to life can't have been easy on your body."

Madara gave a dismissive wave with his left hand, but avoided eye contact with me all the same.

"It will ease in a couple days' time," he assured. "There's no need to fret."

"Yeah right, tough guy. You're in no condition to move around right now. I'll just go let Hikaku know that you're—"

Madara caught my wrist in a tight grasp before I could turn away to leave the room. I glanced back at his hand, then at his eyes. He looked tired. Did he even get any sleep last night with all that pain?

"Don't tell anyone anything," he said quietly. "You and Hashirama are the only ones who need to know the extent of my injuries. If word gets out that I was bed-ridden from a battle with the Hokage, the damage to my reputation will affect the entire Uchiha clan."

"What?" My brows knitted together again and I slipped my hand free of his grasp to rub at my face. "That's stupid. Who cares what other people think? And anyway, isn't it impressive enough that you survived the battle at all? I'm sure Hashirama's in no better shape."

He finally met my eyes then, but his gaze was a withering one.

"...I could barely land a hit on him the whole time," he muttered. He reached across his chest to grasp lightly at his injured arm. "He's gotten much stronger over the years, while I... Well, I seem to have lost my touch amidst all these pointless patrols Tobirama assigns to me."

His voice didn't have the same bite to it that it normally would have when slinging insults at his least favourite Senju. My expression softened. I stepped over to take a seat next to him on the edge of the bed, pointedly ignoring the stark naked state of his body. It wasn't anything I hadn't seen before at this point.

"I'm sure it was just nerves," I told him. "If you were actually planning on killing him and didn't have to hold yourself back, you would've done a number on him."

Madara breathed out a humourless laugh.

"But I wouldn't have been able to kill him, would I? And yet if he weren't holding back..."

I pursed my lips. It seemed silly to me, but strength seemed to be of great importance to Madara and a lot of the people in this village. That was just the kind of time period we lived in, I guess.

"Well, who cares, anyway? It's over now. The past is in the past and now we have to look forward to the future."

I stood up again, offering him my hand.

"Let me help you get dressed, at least. We've got that big meeting today, remember?"

He eyed my extended hand, glancing between it and my face for a moment before finally deciding to reach out and take it. I hoisted him up onto his feet, trying to pretend that I didn't have to anchor my own feet to the floor with chakra to avoid falling on top of him. The guy was pretty hefty with all that muscle, okay?

With a bit of awkward shuffling around and nit-picking about how certain parts of his clothes were supposed to be tucked into each other to look "proper", we finally got him dressed. He was able to walk okay, at least, so once I, too, had donned some actual clothes, we left the compound in search of a quick breakfast on the way toward the Hokage building. We found a vendor selling freshly made tamagoyaki (who was more than happy to sell two platters to Madara despite getting a little cold-shouldered toward me) so we spared a few moments to sit down at a bench and eat first.

"I have to ask," Madara said, setting aside his platter and chopsticks once finished. "Last night, I heard you speaking to someone, but I didn't sense anyone else in the house."

I froze up at that, slowly chewing on the last bite still in my mouth before I could swallow it down. I set aside my platter as well, rubbing my hands over my knees.

"That was, uh..."

I paused to clear my throat a little just to stall. How did I even go about beginning to explain this?

"I was...talking to my headmates," I finished quietly, not looking up at him even though I could feel his eyes on me.

"Head-mates...?" he repeated back with uncertainty. I took a deep breath.

"Oh, boy, um. This is a much deeper conversation than what we have time for right now," I confessed, glancing up at the sun's position in the sky. "For now, just...trust me that I'm not crazy? I'll explain more after the meeting."

I had tried not to think about this meeting while waiting to fall asleep last night, but that the time was upon us, my nerves were instantly shot. It didn't help to have Madara questioning me about this extremely convoluted subject right before it, either. That didn't seem to be a secret from Madara, considering how sensitive he was to shifts in mood and atmosphere.

"Relax," he said as we both got up to continue walking. "They're all a bunch of stiffs. The worst they could do is look down on you, and then what? It's not as if they can exile you from the village without Hashirama's say-so."

I slowly glanced over at him as we walked with wide eyes.

"You're kidding, right?" I scoffed. "I thought we already established that Hashirama's kind of a fuckin' pushover. If they really don't like me that much, I think they can probably convince him to kick me out."

Madara sighed, clearly regretting his choice of words.

"That won't happen. We'll explain everything and they'll understand. They won't have a choice."

Well, the way he said that sounded confident, at least, if not a little threatening. I picked at my nails until we reached our destination. Inside the Hokage building was a special room dedicated to large meetings such as this, and it appeared that we were the last two to arrive. I hesitated just inside the door, glancing around at the important figures sitting around the circular table.

Sasuke's was the only face I recognised, so I made a beeline to occupy the seat directly next to him, all but dragging Madara along behind me so that he could take the chair to my left. Incidentally, this put him right next to Tobirama by Hashirama's side. They exchanged venomous looks with one another while Sasuke patted me on my back.

"Good to see you again, kid," he greeted quietly. "Although, I must say I'm a little surprised. You must be kind of important for the Hokage to call a meeting all about you, huh?"

I shrank down in my seat a little, avoiding his eyes.

"Something like that, I guess..."

"Well, then!"

Hashirama's booming voice drowned out my own as he clapped his hands together and addressed everyone at the table with a wide grin. I noticed that he really didn't look all too worse for wear compared to what I had witnessed of Madara's state earlier. He must have been hiding some injuries under all those ceremonial robes, though, right?

"Let's get started, shall we?" Hashirama said, picking up a few papers in front of him. "I'd like to begin by introducing everyone at this meeting as a courtesy to our guest." He gestured toward me. "As all you all know, Ma-ra-kai here came to our village not long ago under mysterious circumstances that were not disclosed publicly at the time. Today, that will change. First, I'd like to introduce the matriarch of the Yamanaka clan—Inosei."

He nodded toward a woman who sat directly across from him. My eyes moved to follow his to see that she had long, strawberry blonde hair—and I mean long. It pooled on the floor around the chair where she sat. She had deep blue eyes with red makeup framing the corners and she wore a red and black ensemble that was clearly tailored to highlight her curves. Performative beauty standards seemed to run in the family, but all the pampering in the world couldn't hide the intelligence in those eyes, as if she were observing the entire room even when she wasn't looking.

"Next, we have the Nara clan head, Shikatsu."

Hashirama's gaze moved to the right of Inosei, focussing on a rather pale individual whose pitch black hair grew past his shoulders even though half of it sat in a bun atop his head. It had prominent white streaks throughout it as a testament to his age and experience, his eyes dark and narrow. His wardrobe was also comprised of muted browns and dark greys typical of his clan's preference toward subtlety.

"To his left is the lovely Chobei of the Akimichi clan."

Apparently Mito thought that Hashirama smiled a bit too warmly at this one, given the way her eyes narrowed into daggers and he quickly averted his gaze. Chobei was certainly robust and she looked all the stronger for it. Her eyes were a gentle brown, but she had a strong set to her jaw and no-nonsense look on her face. One side of her chestnut brown hair was shaved while the other just reached her chin. She looked like a true warrior.

"We also welcome the esteemed leader of the Hyuga clan, Hibikana."

I was expecting someone imposing and stone-faced like that of Hiashi Hyuga, but that wasn't the case here. Hibikana was a slight little thing, adorned in black and lavender fabric that disguised the true shape of her figure underneath. Her pure white hair rested over her shoulder in a thick braid with a singular purple chrysanthemum blossom tucked over her ear. She still had the glassy stare of the Byakugan, but she carried a gentle disposition. A part of me still suspected that she wasn't one to be trifled with, though.

"And, of course, I must introduce our honoured guests from the Uzumaki clan—Ashina Uzumaki and his beautiful daughter, Mito-hime."

Eugh. Somehow I had totally missed her presence at the table when I walked in. Mito's father was a seemingly proud old man with long white hair and a mustache and beard to match, while Mito looked as refined as porcelain doll.

"Kai has already met Sasuke, Madara, my bother, and myself, so that concludes introductions," Hashirama said. "Now...I'm sure you would all like to know who, exactly, Kai is and why he is here."

"We've humoured your secret without question for long enough," Shikatsu said in a monotonous drawl. "Our people have grown anxious with the boy's presence in our village."

"My clansmen have expressed concerns, as well," Hibikana added in a small voice. "They wonder if they can still trust our brave Hokage's good judgement. Not I, of course, but I'm obligated to speak on their behalf."

"Yes, yes, we're all quite curious," Inosei said, steepling her fingers in front of her to make a resting spot for her chin. "Cut to the chase then, won't you, please?"

"Very well," Hashirama said with a nod. "What I am about to tell you is the cold hard truth, and my brother and Madara here can corroborate everything that I say."

Tobirama and Madara nodded their agreement in turn.

"Ma-ra-kai Nai-tin-ge-ru came to us from an unknown world. A different dimension. Madara found him just outside the village one day and brought him straight to me for questioning. After a period of investigation to ensure that he had no ill-intent toward the village, we allowed him to reside within the Uchiha District under strict—"

"Hold on," Inosei interrupted, lifting a hand. "You just said he came from a different dimension. Let's not gloss over that part, shall we? Explain."

"Of course," Hashirama said, clearing his throat. "While the method through which he travelled here is unknown, we have confirmed that he is not of this world. How do we know that for certain? Well, it's because Kai presented us with knowledge of the future that no one else could have possibly known. He knew secrets about each of us that had not yet left the confines of our thoughts. In fact, Kai's knowledge is the reason that we were successful in capturing the creature called Zetsu."

"How do you know that he didn't obtain this information through some sort of mind-reading jutsu?" Hibikana inquired.

"Because none of us knew about Zetsu before he told us," Hashirama explained. "In reality, Zetsu had been manipulating Madara long before Kai arrived here, unbeknownst to Madara himself. It wasn't until Kai informed us about Zetsu's intentions that we understood the threat he posed and why it was important to stage a battle to lure him out."

"So, then, how does Kai-san know about these things?" Shikatsu asked, his sharp eyes flickering over to me. "Where does your knowledge come from, if not a jutsu?"

I glanced over at Hashirama, unsure if I should speak or not, but he gave me a nod of reassurance. Sitting up a little straighter, I folded my hands together on the table in front of me.

"In my world, we know of this place as a work of fiction," I said slowly, trying to choose my words carefully. "The events of this universe are told like a story. When I wound up here and figured out what was going on, I thought it was best to share what I knew to try to prevent bad things from happening later down the line."

"What sort of bad things?" Inosei asked, her piercing gaze now trained on me as well. I pursed my lips and swallowed.

"Wars, mostly. A chain of events was supposed to lead to four different wars throughout history. I think...I think now, after the action we've taken, at least one of them won't happen. I'm hoping to stop another, too."

"Which leads me to another point of discussion I've been saving for this meeting," Hashirama said, placing down the papers in his hands one at a time. Each one bore a detailed drawing of one of the nine Tailed Beasts. "It has been my plan for several months now to track down and capture these creatures known as the Tailed Beasts. They are powerful beings with unique abilities that could greatly aid our village and many others."

He paused to look over at me with a smile.

"However, Kai has convinced me that capturing them would be wrong. Instead, our new plan is to forge an alliance with these Tailed Beasts. With their trust in our hands, we'll be much stronger than if we were to try to subjugate them into living weapons, and the other villages would respect us for it."

"What's to stop any one of them from capturing a Tailed Beast instead?" Shikatsu asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "If another village can rein in a Tailed Beast's power, they would have a distinct advantage over Konohagakure if we do not arm ourselves with our own."

"Well, that's the beauty of this new plan," Hashirama said. "We don't have to capture them to be able to rely on their power. If anyone else decides to encroach upon our treaty with the Tailed Beasts, they will become our enemy as they will become the enemy of the Tailed Beasts themselves."

"How do you plan to befriend them?" Inosei asked. "These creatures are mighty. My clan crossed paths with that one—" she stood up and pointed at the drawing of Matatabi, "—a few years back. It devastated our camps and slaughtered many of my men."

She narrowed her eyes at Hashirama.

"Give me one good reason why we shouldn't just hunt and kill them all to make them repay their blood debts?"

Hashirama opened his mouth to respond, but the quietly observant Chobei decided to speak up then.

"Because that'd be a suicide mission, Inosei," she chided. "You've already lost men? Think about how many more we'd all lose if we went after them with swords and spears. You're smart—use that brain of yours for once."

I could see the way Inosei gritted her teeth. She balled up her fist and rounded her attention on the Akimichi matriarch instead.

"If you've got something to say, say it plainly," she growled. "Otherwise I don't want to hear any snide remarks from a woman who can't even control her appetite."

I cringed back a little bit at that. Cutthroat much?

"Oh, please. You're just jealous I can pull off a figure like this while you're forced to starve yourself to death just to make that useless husband of yours happy," Chobei shot back with a wave of her hand.

"You bitch! Let's settle this outside, shall we?!"

"Let's settle this now," Hashirama interrupted, his voice cutting through the rising tension. "There's no need to resort to petty insults. Each of you has a valid point of view. A desire for vengeance is natural—" he nodded toward Inosei with understanding in his eyes, "—but Chobei-sama is right. We gain nothing but more bloodshed by waging war against the Tailed Beasts. It's our responsibility as pioneers of the new world order to end the pointless cycle of death. Wouldn't you all agree?"

The clan leaders glanced around at each other in silent but mutual understanding and, with a grumble under her breath, Inosei took her seat once more.

"I, for one, think that an alliance with the Tailed Beasts is a splendid idea," Hibikana chimed in. "Better they stand beside us than against us."

"Your plan has its merits."

All eyes turned too look toward Ashina Uzumaki, who had been listening to the back-and-forth in silence up until now. He had his eyes closed while he stroked his short beard in thought.

"This village's reputation would certainly benefit from having the aid of mighty beasts such as these at your beck and call," he said, opening his eyes to stare across the table at Hashirama. "It relieves me to know that my daughter will be safe in the hands of such a strategic and well-prepared shinobi."

A pregnant silence followed his words. I caught the roll of Mito's eyes (she didn't try very hard to hide it...) and the way Hashirama set his jaw. I was sure that his doubts about his arranged marriage had been rekindled after what Tobirama told him about my run-in with Mito yesterday. Man, I really hoped that that didn't royally screw things up.

"So it's decided," Hashirama said after a moment, gathering up the papers again. "We'll start making preparations to send out teams to find and extend an olive branch to each of the Tailed Beasts."

"That's all well and good..." Shikatsu muttered, "but what's the plan if one of them declines the offer?"

"Well...we can't force an alliance," Hashirama admitted. He glanced toward me then. "Kai-san, what would you recommend as the best course of action?"

I blinked. Ah, jeez. I expected to have to explain myself a little during this meeting, but not to actually be part of it. I licked my lips as I tried to think of something on the spot.

"We offer to protect them," I spat out. "The Tailed Beasts are reasonable—they just don't want to be herded like cattle and made into weapons for humans to wield. As long as we respect them and offer our aid in times of need, I don't see any reason why they wouldn't come around eventually anyway, especially if the ones we do convince can speak to them on our behalf."

"A flimsy plan at best," Mito piped up for the first time, flicking her wrist as if to shoo away the very thought. Figures. "I'm going to need something a little more concrete than 'hope and pray for the best'."

"She's right."

Nooo, not Tobirama! He didn't look very pleased to say it, at least.

"We can't rely solely on good intentions to make this work. If one of them refuses, we try to arrange counsel with those we've already secured an alliance with. If that doesn't work, there's no guarantee that they won't launch an attack on the village, or another village might get to them anyway. We have to subdue them."

"That's not—" I bit out a sigh, rubbing a hand down my face. "That completely defeats the purpose. If the others see us respond that way to the first sign of disagreement, they'll turn on us, too. At the end of the day, the Tailed Beasts stick together."

"What makes you so sure?" Hashirama asked with furrowed brows.

"Well...the Tailed Beasts are just different parts of the same thing. Tobirama, you remember that God Tree I was telling you about?" He nodded. "Well, it's not just a regular tree. It was, like...the first stage of a creature called the Ten Tails. Each of the Tailed Beasts was made by splitting apart the Ten Tails's chakra nine ways. In a way, they all share a soul, and they all remember how they were created. They're like a family."

"That's very sweet," Mito drawled, "but families have turned on each other before. This would be no different."

"Sorry, but what part of 'I know about the future' did you not get?"

More silence, but this kind was filled with stunned expressions, including Mito's. I thought about backpedaling in the interest of preserving the peace, but I had had just about enough of this prick's attitude.

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I am so serious when I say you really just have to trust me on this one."

Hashirama cleared his throat a bit loudly.

"I believe what Kai-san means to say is—"

"No, I think he stated it quite clearly," Tobirama said, interlacing his fingers in front of him. "Everyone at this table needs to understand something. Although he may seem ignorant of our ways, and he may be weaker than most of our children, and he may possess the social decorum of a mutt—"

"The point, please?" I hissed through clenched teeth.

"—Kai still possesses valuable knowledge that cannot be dismissed or overlooked," Tobirama continued. "I, too, was suspicious of his claims in the beginning, but I cannot deny that his guidance has already led to the betterment of our lives."

Oh. Wow. That was...kind of sweet. Well, it would have been if he hadn't started with all the other stuff. Asshole.

"If Kai says that we can put our trust in the Tailed Beasts to come around to our offer of peace, then I believe him, as should all of you."

Inosei gave a quiet hum of approval as she leaned back in her seat.

"High praise coming from the walking statue," she scoffed. "I guess I'm left with no choice if even Tobirama believes such a harebrained plan can work."

"Harebrained is putting it lightly," Shikatsu muttered. "To put it simply, I don't like it... I may not trust you yet, Ma-ra-kai, but I do trust Tobirama's judgement."

"Good enough for me," Chobei added with a shrug.

"I agree, of course. If the Hokage and his brother feel it's safe to take this boy's word, then so do I," said Hibikana, offering me a gentle smile. It didn't seem like she was actually looking at me even though she was facing my direction. There was no way she was actually blind, right?

"It's hard to argue against all this loyalty you've fostered," Ashina said. "We shall observe how this plan of yours plays out. If you are able to make allies of the Tailed Beasts as you say, then there will be no more need for peace talks." He nodded toward Hashirama. "If you're able to pull this off, we shall finalize our terms for the marriage and the Uzumaki clan will gladly become proud members of Konohagakure."

He was really stuck on that whole marriage thing, wasn't he? Yikes. I felt bad for Hashirama before, but it just kept getting worse. At this rate, there didn't seem to be any opportunity for Hashirama to reject the marriage proposal unless he wanted to piss off the whole clan.

"Well!" Chobei slapped her hands on the table and sat up straight. "Is that it?"

"Not just yet," Hashirama said, holding up a hand. He turned his attention toward Sasuke and Madara on either side of me. "You two have been especially quiet this whole time. Won't you please share your thoughts?"

He was right, now that I thought about it. I glanced to my right and then my left.

"Well...what can I say?" Sasuke began with a sheepish chuckle, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. "It's a lot to take in... Everyone has brought up some really good points. I like the plan, but...I guess I'm still a little unclear about something."

He turned to look at me, tilting his head.

"How did you get here if you came from another world?"

That was a really good question. I wished he hadn't asked it.

"Uh... I don't know," I admitted. "One minute I was in my world, and the next... Well, Madara said he saw me fall out of the sky and land in a lake."

Madara nodded beside me in confirmation.

"Just like that, huh? No strange sensations, no...rift in time and space opening up?" Sasuke pressed. I feigned a cough.

"Well, I...may have...taken an action that...may or may not have potentially triggered a turn of events that could have possibly led to my current circumstances."

Try to sound a little more suspicious, why don't you? I heard Katsuki's mocking voice from some corner of my mind.

I'm not gonna act any more normal with you distracting me, I shot back quickly.

"What action?" Sasuke asked.

Ah, crap.

"I...killedmyself." I said it quickly in hopes of lessening the blow, but I should have known better than to expect anything less than the appalled look on Sasuke's face.

"You what?"

"It's really not a big deal—"

"You died?" Inosei asked from across the table, seemingly more curious than shocked.

"I'm a little unclear on that myself," I told her, hands flailing around with all sorts of unnecessary gestures. "Not too sure what exactly transpired between that moment and me ending up here."

"Oh, please."

Of course Mito would have something to say about all this.

"Are you all really falling for this right now? He's not telling the truth," she stated as if it were obvious. "There's no reality where someone hangs the noose and miraculously ends up alive and in a completely different world." She gave me a once-over with narrowed eyes. "He's hiding something."

"Really not, actually." I threw my hands out in front of me. "You all know how to use chakra better than I do. Does it feel like I'm lying?"

There was a pause as everyone in the room seemed to take the invitation to reach out with that sixth sense shinobi seemed to have.

"No, but I can tell you don't like her," Inosei pointed out with a smirk as she crossed her arms. "Good taste, if you ask me."

"Choke on it, whore," Mito spat.

"Mito!" Ashina gasped.

"Dad!" she whined in response.

"We're getting off-topic," Hashirama said, leaning forward on his elbow while pinching the bridge of his nose. "For the sake of peace, this meeting is adjourned."

The cacophony of chairs scraping against the floor as everyone stood made my head hurt, but at least I was free from the clutches of my mutt-like social decorum, as Tobirama put it. I didn't realise how suffocated I had felt that entire time until I finally took a long, deep breath once the clan heads had all filed out of the room. Well, all of them except Sasuke, that is.

I glanced over at him once I noticed him lingering in the seat next to me to find that he still had that look of concern trained on me. I averted my gaze and let out a soft sigh.

"It sounds worse than it is," I told him. "I barely remember the pain, and it's not like I'm actually dead right now, so..."

That didn't seem to do a single thing to alleviate his worries.

"...May I ask why?"

His voice was much more quiet now in the silence of the room. I fidgeted with my hands in my lap.

"Honestly? I don't even know anymore," I said. "It seems stupid now. I was just so frustrated with everything and I was never where I wanted to be and it felt like the world was caving in around me." I took in another breath. "But it wasn't like I had it so bad. I was able to support myself financially, I had my own place, control over my own life, I had two cats—"

Oh, fuck. My cats. Now that was going to make me cry if I thought about it for too long.

"—and I had people who cared about me. I just...um. I guess I just took it all for granted."

I knew, internally, that that was an over-simplification of the turmoil I had been going through at the time, but it was hard to reconcile with that feeling now that I was so far removed from it. Now that I had gotten away from everything that had made me feel that way, I was able to look at my situation logically from the outside-in, but I knew that it would be so easy to do that if I were still stuck in that place.

"...Do you miss them?" Sasuke asked gently. "The people who cared about you?"

"Yeah." I had to turn my head away and hold my hand over my mouth to try to stop the sudden influx of tears pooling around my eyes. "I miss my mom. I miss my brothers and sisters. I miss my friends."

I'll never get to see them again.

It still hurt to think about. I wasn't sure that I would ever find out how to process my emotions correctly (I had never bothered to invest in therapy), so this feeling would likely just continue to fester inside me while I completely ignored it in favour of other distractions. Or maybe I would find a way to move on. Who knew?

"I'm sorry."

I felt Sasuke's hand on my shoulder. I was beginning to realise that I didn't mind touch so much in times of emotional duress. The more I thought about that, though, the more my mind got in the way of my feelings and wrenched me away from them entirely.

I ducked out from under his hand to stand up from my chair, wiping at the corners of my eyes before I turned to face him again.

"Thanks, but it's fine. We should get going. I'll see you for training later, yeah?"

I didn't give him a chance to respond before rushing out of the meeting room. It would be awkward to face him after this, but I would put up with it if it meant another distraction. I couldn't keep dwelling on a past that I couldn't touch anymore. It was pointless. I just had to focus on the future, and getting stronger. If I could do that, if I could keep helping these people, then everything would work out fine.

It had to. I needed it to.